Math Autobiography

When given this assignment I noticed that I have been struggling over the past few days to come up with a happy math memory. Why is that? I’ve been asking myself the same question over and over. Is it because my memory is not the best? Could be, as I’m not as young as I once was! However, I simply do not have a memory from any math lesson until the “dreaded grade 5” experience. Vaguely I remember sitting in rows, listening to the teacher explain how to complete math equations, the right way and the only way, her way. Finally we would open our textbooks and begin answering questions #1 to infinity. There would not be a sound in the classroom. The teacher did not circulate to see if anyone was having any trouble or had any questions. After what seemed like an eternity of answering rote questions, random people would be called upon to go to the blackboard to demonstrate their understanding by writing their solution upon the board. I know I was not the only person in my room holding my breath, ducking down to hide behind the person in front of me and quickly praying to God that I did not get picked to explain my answer. But one day, it happened. She called my name and asked me to "come show us your answer to number 5.”
As I took the long dreaded walk to the blackboard carrying my exercise book with my answer, I silently prayed again that my answer was right. (I went to a Catholic school, so we were taught to pray a lot!) Little me stood at the huge blackboard and begin to solve a 2 digit by 2 digit multiplication equation. I did not speak but just wrote my answer down the long way, the right way, and the teacher’s way. While my teacher, let’s call her Mrs. White, stood next to the board with her arms folded, and head tilted waiting for my answer. When I was finished, I put down the chalk and was afraid to make eye contact so I waited. If your answer was wrong, you immediately heard the “tut” from the teacher. If your answer was right, there would be no positive feedback, the teacher would just shout the next number. Finally, I heard, “Number 6, Sherry.” Silently I did a cheer and walked quickly back to my seat knowing I had my answer right. PHEW! Now, let me tell you, that was not my “dreaded grade 5” experience but it was definitely a memorable moment for me.

The “dreaded” experience happened one day when our principal visited our classroom during math class. She was a nun and when she walked into our classroom everyone stood up and did not breathe a word. She would come into our classroom and ask random students multiplication facts. If you had them right, you sat down. If you had them wrong, you were asked to wait for Sister outside the door. My friend Debbie was asked to tell the answer to 6 times 7. Poor Debbie, she got it wrong and had to visit the principal’s office. When she got back to our classroom, she told us that Sister showed her the strap, and told her to study her facts and that she better know them the next time. Well, to a ten year old, this was very intimidating! From that moment on, I studied all my facts every day, as I was determined NOT to see Sister’s strap. Of course, each time she came by, I avoided eye contact with her, but one day, she picked me. I will never forget it to this day. She pointed at me and simply said, “9x5.” It took a few seconds for the shock to register that she was actually talking to me and then I quickly blurted 45. She smiled! I did not know that nuns could smile. I had never seen it before. She smiled and said, “Good.” I dodged the bullet! No strap sighting for me. Let me tell you, that fear from the principal’s visit are the reason I can still quickly recall each multiplication fact to this very day.

I cannot recall many more moments like this. Neither happy nor sad and I am not sure if this is a good thing or not. I can tell you that I did well in math. How did I know? Well, my tests told me so. 90’s and 100’s were what was marked at the top of my tests in that special red ink or shouted out during math class as the teacher would say how each student did from highest to lowest. I do not recall ever doing “bad” in math. To confirm I was good in math I was placed in advanced math in high school. I was shocked by this as I did not know such placement/courses were offered. I was one of 16 students in a class of over 100 students who did advance courses. Of course, we were looked negatively at; “nerds, geeks and losers” were the stereotypes. Regardless of how I was viewed, I was proud to be in this class because it meant I was smarter than those other students, right?

But again, I remember being taught the same way in high school as I was taught in elementary, except the teacher did stop to ask if we had any questions but covered the material at a very quick pace. If you did not understand, he would ask a friend to help explain it to you. As usual, there was only ONE way to answer the question. The way it was taught. I remember my high school math teacher being very enthusiastic about teaching math. I am not sure if he was excited because he loved math or because he had a job and was happy to come to work each day. We never used math manipulatives in any grade from what I can remember. We were never asked how we felt about math or to share our thoughts, ideas or strategies. But I do not think this was exclusive to math but more of a sign of the times and how teachers taught and what was expected of students. To be seen and not heard.

After graduating high school with honours I then went on to enter Memorial University and that was quite an experience. It was the first year Memorial offered a math placement test to give some indication where each student stood with math. I remember getting my mark back and was shocked with the result. “They” (whoever they were) recommended I take the beginner/ refresher course to help build my skills. How could that be possible? I did so well my whole school life to be told, I was not so good after all? This did damage to my self esteem and puzzled me but I ignored the recommendation and registered for Math 1000. I remember the back of my math professor’s head really well. As that is all I saw of him from the minute he picked up the chalk until the minute class was over. He spoke to the board, he answered no questions and again, he showed us “the right way” to find a solution. I remember building myself up to ask him for help after class as I was having trouble with a particular topic and he advised me to seek help at the math help center. Well, thank you! From this course I moved on to Math 1050/1051 which was requirements for the Education faculty. Needless to say, I did not do as well as I would have liked at MUN with my math courses, I received low B’s and not the high marks I was used to in high school, but by this time, my expectations of myself and my views about how well I understood math had changed.

My own experiences dictate how I teach math. I love to teach math and I tell my students and parents that each year. I decided to adopt this attitude towards teaching math when I had a grade three student come to me one say and say he hated math and thought it was hard. I was shocked as to why a child at the age of 8 would have such a negative attitude towards math. I make math as hands on as possible, using manipulatives each day. (I am ashamed to say I used to think if I was a good teacher, my students did not need manipulatives to understand math but now I know the importance of having the concrete representation and allowing my students to use these visuals for the foundation of their math learning.) I integrate math into other subjects especially art, which always goes over well. I speak positively about math and how it can be challenging but a challenge is good for our brains. I give immediate feedback and use different ways of assessing my students. I allow children to represent their knowledge in many forms. I create an open and encouraging environment where children understand there are MANY ways to solve a problem. I use children’s literature as a beginning to our new units as a way to link their background knowledge with our math concepts. I hold math nights just for parents to demonstrate to them how I am teaching math in school so they can understand the new math lingo. Mostly I praise, praise and praise. I try to make everyone feel smart!

Of course, teaching can be frustrating at times. The things that frustrate me about teaching mathematics are parents telling their children that they struggled with math or found it hard. I believe this creates unnecessary negative images for the child. Another thing that can be frustrating is when parents do not take the initiative to attend math nights or to find out the current strategies we are using or the lack of support in the home. Finally, what’s frustrating is the amount of curriculum we have to teach (although this has gotten better in recent years) and how sometimes some things barely get touched upon or never touched at all. And of course, the pressure of standardize testing.

One thing that would help me in teaching mathematics is if everyone embraced a positive attitude towards math. It is much better to teach children who are open to learning than those who have a preconceived notion of the challenges to come. If the department of education could make classes smaller and continue to decrease the amount of content we need to cover each year, that would be a blessing as well. One however, I do not foresee in the near future. Until then, I will continue smiling when I teach math and encouraging children that math is not so difficult afterall!